The Library of Cancelled Films (June 18, 2021 Edition)

UPDATE: SCHLICHTER-LANCHE!!! Welcome to all you fans of the Colonel… ain’t he the best?

Before we get into George’s two additions to the library, take a minute to go back and read the orignal Library of Cancelled Films post to get an idea of what we’re doing here and why….

OK, are you back? Let’s get started.

AIRPLANE! – I truly cannot believe this wasn’t on my original list. In a world where “speech is violence”, AIRPLANE! is the feature film equivalent of the firebombing of Dresden. AIRPLANE! is a minefield of potentially cancellable offenses, from Barbara Billingsley’s “Jive” translations (which is one of the greatest movie gags ever written) to the “Pamphlet” of Jewish Sports Heroes to the line of passengers waiting to hit the hysterical female passenger with an escalating series of hardcore weaponry… which takes the concept of #MeToo to a whole ‘nother level, amirite?

Literally no ethnic, religious, or gender group is safe from this movie, not one… which is exactly what makes it so great (and so dangerous… Progressives hate harmonious laughter more than anything else). Go buy a hard copy while you still can… this is the kind of “no sacred cows” comedy that must be preserved and protected at all costs if we want to rebuild a free nation after the collapse of this bizarre Orwellian Oligarchy we’re living in.

P.C.U. – PCU is the least-well known of a trio of films, IDIOCRACY and NETWORK are the other two, that perfectly predicted the evolution of, in this order, the University climate, the Culture, and Network/Cable News.

Progressives love NETWORK (RIP Ned Beatty, PBUH) because they think that the predictions it made presaged the rise Fox News, Roger Ailes and Rush Limbaugh AND NOTHING ELSE!!! But they conveniently forget about guys like Bill Maher, Keith Olberman, the entire MSNBC lineup, and the difference between what CNN is now and what it was 30 years ago. The relationship between the network chiefs in NETWORK and their star on-air talent Howard Beale is a perfect distilation of the relationship between NBC and Trump. When he was great for ratings, they loved him and made him the focal point of their coverage. But when he stopped being good for ratings they suddenly hated him and set out to destroy him (in NETWORK, the execs even have a conversation about killing Howard Beale). And in fact we have actual audio tape of NBC chief Jeff Zucker saying some of the exact same batshit crazy things that the insane Network chief (Ned Beatty, again) says in NETWORK. To wit…

It’s worth taking a moment to note here that Chayevsky got at least one thing wrong. Beatty mentions that 60 million people watch Howard Beale’s show. The most popular cable news show (Hannity, I believe) pulls in something like 2 million viewers a night. Tater Stelter is somehow still surviving on air with less than 200 thousand viewers in the key demographic. But other than that, Beatty pretty much nails the essential nature of the Media branch of the Oligarchy that is, even now, trying to consolidate its power and control over all of us.

The one way in which I fear for the future of NETWORK as an available film also comes from Beatty’s insane monologue. He says there are no countries, there is no Democracy, there are only coporations and currencies. I do worry that as we see the rise of a new partnership between Woke Corporations and Big Blue Government (the literal definition of Fascism by the way, though probably not the definition you were taught in school) the Progressive Left might start to wonder if NETWORK is getting a little too close to exposing “Their Truth.” But then I remember that most Progressives are too disdainful of anything that happened more than a year ago to ever go back and watch a movie made in the 70’s… and I relax a little.

In the same way that the Left feels like NETWORK is their kind of movie, Liberals also tend to believe that IDIOCRACY primarily pokes fun at the kind of Red State Rubes who love NASCAR and Reality TV, as opposed to Blue State Eliltes who love… Reality TV and, uh… what else do Blue State Elites do for fun, anyway?

So both of those films feel safe to me because they massage all the proper Progressive erogenous zones. Although I still may buy copies anyway since many of the things that can get you cancelled today were fine literally 48 hours ago. “It’s the only way to be sure”, as the woman said.

But then there’s P.C.U.

When it came out, P.C.U, in addition to hacking away at young Reaganite Conservatives (embodied by David Spade and his blue jacketed cronies) P.C.U. seemed to take aim at a villain most of the country had already come to despise naturally… the Woke Scold. Back in those days, while the Woke Scolds had fully captured college administration offices, they had not yet captured the hearts and minds of students, so taking aim at them was still safe and fun for children of all ages.

In the big climax, where the lead character (played by Jeremy Piven who was really too old for the part) leads the crowd in a chant of “WE’RE NOT GONNA PROTEST!” What he was really saying was “everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we should all mind our own business.”

“It used to be us against them. Now it’s us against us”, he says. So good!

But in the years since, campus Woke Scolds have successfully replaced “mind your own business” with the twin, though contradictory, mottos “silence is violence” and “speech is violence.” So to survive on Campus you are not only required to use only Politically Correct language when you do speak, you also are not allowed to avoid the issue entirely by choosing to not speak at all. So to stand up in front of a crowd and boldy declare “I’m going to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business” becomes a truly revolutionary act.

And that cannot be allowed.

Bottom line: Buy hard copies of AIRPLANE! and P.C.U. while you still can… while Jeff Bezos will still allow it.

REMINDER: George and the Congress can be found on Locals.com now where we are doing additional exclusive content five days a week. Come join us!