FADE IN:
INT – OVAL OFFICE – DAY (POST-LID)
Three of Biden’s ADVISORS are seated around the coffee table with JEN PSAKI. JOE BIDEN is behind the Resolute Desk. He’s asleep… and he’s snoring.
PSAKI: Guys, people are starting to ask me about raging inflation, the plunging stock market, gas lines, and the war in the Middle East and I can’t keep telling tham ‘I’m gonna have to circle back’… we need to do something.
ADVISORS: ……
PSAKI: Literally anything…
ADVISOR #1: This may sound crazy, but what if we dropped the mask mandate? People will love that shit!
ADVISOR #2: Right, I mean that’s why we haven’t dropped it already… we’ve been waiting for a moment… a moment when we really needed it.
ADVISOR #1 (nodding): … a moment like this one!
PSAKI: Brilliant!
Psaki gathers up her papers and heads for the door….
ADVISOR #3 (whispering): But what will we use as a distraction when China invades Taiwain?
ADVISOR #1 AND #2: SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The door slams as Psaki exits.
After a long silent beat, Biden suddenly sits straight up behind his desk, startling his advisors.
BIDEN: TRUINNANATIONALDEPREZZURE!!!!
FADE OUT:
Awesome!